Whether you are in a relationship now or not, have your partners been emotionally unavailable, shut off, immature, dishonest, self-centered, or uncommitted?
Have you been the one putting in all the work in the relationship?
Have you prioritized your relationship and caring for others while your partners haven't prioritized and cared for you?
You’re kind-hearted and considerate, you might be a parent who is doing a great job of loving and raising your kids, you’re a hard worker and a valued friend. Why don’t your big heart and efforts pay off in romantic relationships?
Ever since my early adulthood, I worked really hard - in school, in jobs, and in relationships. I was smart and a high achiever and I had lots of friends who told me I was one of the nicest people they knew.
However, when it came to romantic relationships, they were painful and unfulfilling.
I married at 22 years old, and after she fell in love with another man, it ended in divorce and heartbreak. I remarried at 28, but found myself lonelier than ever and after several years of trying to make it work, that marriage ended in divorce.
What was wrong? What was I missing? Why were all my efforts for nothing and why wasn't I able to get the love and care that I was willing to give?
After a number of experiences with different therapists and coaches that were less than transformative, I eventually found a therapist who enabled me to see the stumbling blocks I kept tripping over. She broke through my resistance and showed me the ways I had contributed to my painful and unfulfilling experiences in relationships -- they included the way I had an anxious attachment style and I had been codependent, disempowered, and ruled by my low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence.
Identifying and allowing the past wounds I'd experienced to surface meant I could begin to heal and tackle the issues head on.
That work led me to a coach who walked me through deep inner work and taught me to embody the lessons I had learned.
I realized that fundamentally, at the root of my relationship challenges, I did not believe I was lovable. And as long as I felt unlovable, I ended up in relationships that confirmed how I felt.
How to make a change...
It always starts with YOU. The answer is to DO THE INNER WORK. Break the cycle! Learn to love yourself so much that you expect someone else to do the same. Build your self-confidence and relationship skills with the help of a coach and establish healthy boundaries because you recognize yourself as a person of value in your life.
You can change.
You can heal.
You can have the life you really want.
If you are in a relationship and want to transform your experience, you can.
If you are single and want to achieve the 10/10 dream relationship you’ve always wanted, you can.
BUT! You need to do your own inner healing work so that you .
All of the following is possible for you!
➢ Feel secure in a relationship, feel secure single
➢ Express yourself authentically and genuinely love who you are even when you make mistakes
➢ Cultivate friendships with men and women who love us and appreciate us for who we are
➢ Enjoy a full range of emotions without judging or resisting
➢ Wake up every morning energized and thankful to be alive
➢ Stop chasing emotionally unavailable partners
➢ Stop pushing away the people who will love you well
➢ Set compassionate boundaries like a badass without feeling guilty about it
➢ Tame the inner critic, quiet the anxious mind, and learn to listen to your heart
➢ Heal past hurts so that the memories no longer trigger you
➢ Feel confident taking up space in the world and asserting yourself
➢ Achieve the ability to receive criticism and feedback with receptive openness and curiosity (let go of fear, shame, and defensiveness)
➢ Let the love in
➢ Stop taking yourself so seriously and enjoy a life of fun, playfulness, and laughter
Together, we can change your life.
I had a coach and a therapist who helped guide me to change mine, and I couldn’t have done it without them.
In fact, I’ve invested thousands of hours in education and practice and tens of thousands of dollars in my own coaching and personal development so that I could learn how to guide you to change yours.
If you’re ready to end the cycle of painful relationships, do the inner work, and change your life once and for all, I offer 1:1 transformational coaching and group coaching in the Courageous Love Community.
If you would like to explore your options, today.
To inquire about relationship coaching for you or you and your partner, send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you.